Readers,
I just got the weirdest phone call. It was Chelsea's owner Roman Abramovich. He told me Chelsea’s manager Jose Mourinho has been fired from the English Premier League club and Romo wants me – he has been tracking the progress of my fantasy team – Boomgoesthedynamite (Sir Boom – you owe me a lot of royalties for the use of “Boom”) and likes where I’m taking the team and he wants to bring that gusto to The Bridge.
“Chelsea Football Club and Jose Mourinho have agreed to part company today (Thursday) by mutual consent,'' said a one-line statement posted on the club's website.
Romo tells me that statement is “complete BS” He gave me a run down of the fateful conversation.
Romo: I want Ja Ja
Jose: You mean Ronaldinho
Romo: No… the real Ja Ja Binks – I’ve seen him in the movies and he’ll be great for the team. Shirt sales around the universe will skyrocket.
Jose: He isn’t real – you’re mad
Romo: I’m not mad I’m Romo – YOU’RE FIRED
I told Romo that Jose was a fool and if he wanted Ja Ja I’ll get him!
He doesn’t have to know it’s just a player in a suit…
So The Manager has a new job…the top job at Chelsea.
Sure, Sir Boom said he would never take the job no matter the money. But Sir Boom can’t get his head out of Flabbergas’ arse long enough to see the benefits.
Now all I have to do is find a Ja Ja suit bigger enough for Fat Lamps to fit in
The Manager
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